Moving On to Rediscover Balance

Life changes. Situations unfold that shape the course of human events. At every bend, turn and hill adjustments are required to continue the journey. The constant balancing act we all juggle at times will fall apart. The pieces can end up like a messy strand of christmas lights. A tangled mess blinking at you from the floor. Life gets messy, complicated and painful; but the median, the norms, the balance all come back.

In the past month my world and the world at large changed. A personal relationship ended and others changed forever. January 8th 2011, the day of the Arizona shooting, will mean so many different things for many different people. For the survivors, the day they lived through, recovered from and a day they are not going to forget any time soon. For the relatives of the victims, a day that will never be forgotten and a unpleasant anniversary. For others, another day of tragic events that shook the nation. For me, it was the beginning of a recovery period and the start of a new chapter of my life. But the importance and impact of that day also signaled a pause- a break from normal life, to mourn and to simply allow ourselves to give into emotion and let everything else take a rest. But every moment of silence ends, and then everything starts again. Life and all of it’s components move on, even when we do not feel ready or prepared or whole. We are forced to get back to our lives and find a way to restore the balance.

With balance comes routine, and routines are a lengthy process to accomplish. For a majority of college students like me the new semester started. From adjusting to being back at school and away from the comforts and joys of home, to figuring classes and homework out, and finding time in the new schedule to spend time with friends and just relax, this process of rediscovering a routine and balance can take a while. I am starting the third week of school and am just now slowly getting used to the new semester. This adjustment period of a few weeks pales in comparison to the process for the victims and family members of those hurt or killed in a shooting. The victims still struggle and continue to live with the pain well after the news crews and reporters move on.

Last Tuesday, The New York Times ran an article about a family who suffered the loss of a mother and wife in the 2007 Virginia Tech shooting. Her husband and daughter continue to live their lives but the article accounts their coping and his reaction to the shooting in Arizona. The grieving husband states how the memorials, lectures, tributes, dedications and foundations just bring the pain back. On her birthday and the anniversary of the shooting, they still receive calls and cards. The man said, “I have to ask not to receive these cards.” And his daughter adds, “Why are they doing this to us, Dad? When will this be over? Why don’t they let us live?” Recovery and coping may take forever. Does anyone completely recover from events such as these? I believe you learn to live and be happy even with the pain and sadness.

In the next few days and weeks the world will change again. The unrest in Egypt and a possible new country being born out of years of turmoil in Sudan will both shape and change the days ahead. The earlier events discussed changed the past, but once again a process of moving on and rediscovering balance will begin. And who knows what the coming change will bring.

Here is the article mentioned, http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/25/us/25vatech.html?_r=1&scp=3&sq=A%20Life%20haunted%20by%20the%20ghosts%20of%20a%20massacre&st=cse