Moving On to Rediscover Balance

Life changes. Situations unfold that shape the course of human events. At every bend, turn and hill adjustments are required to continue the journey. The constant balancing act we all juggle at times will fall apart. The pieces can end up like a messy strand of christmas lights. A tangled mess blinking at you from the floor. Life gets messy, complicated and painful; but the median, the norms, the balance all come back.

In the past month my world and the world at large changed. A personal relationship ended and others changed forever. January 8th 2011, the day of the Arizona shooting, will mean so many different things for many different people. For the survivors, the day they lived through, recovered from and a day they are not going to forget any time soon. For the relatives of the victims, a day that will never be forgotten and a unpleasant anniversary. For others, another day of tragic events that shook the nation. For me, it was the beginning of a recovery period and the start of a new chapter of my life. But the importance and impact of that day also signaled a pause- a break from normal life, to mourn and to simply allow ourselves to give into emotion and let everything else take a rest. But every moment of silence ends, and then everything starts again. Life and all of it’s components move on, even when we do not feel ready or prepared or whole. We are forced to get back to our lives and find a way to restore the balance.

With balance comes routine, and routines are a lengthy process to accomplish. For a majority of college students like me the new semester started. From adjusting to being back at school and away from the comforts and joys of home, to figuring classes and homework out, and finding time in the new schedule to spend time with friends and just relax, this process of rediscovering a routine and balance can take a while. I am starting the third week of school and am just now slowly getting used to the new semester. This adjustment period of a few weeks pales in comparison to the process for the victims and family members of those hurt or killed in a shooting. The victims still struggle and continue to live with the pain well after the news crews and reporters move on.

Last Tuesday, The New York Times ran an article about a family who suffered the loss of a mother and wife in the 2007 Virginia Tech shooting. Her husband and daughter continue to live their lives but the article accounts their coping and his reaction to the shooting in Arizona. The grieving husband states how the memorials, lectures, tributes, dedications and foundations just bring the pain back. On her birthday and the anniversary of the shooting, they still receive calls and cards. The man said, “I have to ask not to receive these cards.” And his daughter adds, “Why are they doing this to us, Dad? When will this be over? Why don’t they let us live?” Recovery and coping may take forever. Does anyone completely recover from events such as these? I believe you learn to live and be happy even with the pain and sadness.

In the next few days and weeks the world will change again. The unrest in Egypt and a possible new country being born out of years of turmoil in Sudan will both shape and change the days ahead. The earlier events discussed changed the past, but once again a process of moving on and rediscovering balance will begin. And who knows what the coming change will bring.

Here is the article mentioned, http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/25/us/25vatech.html?_r=1&scp=3&sq=A%20Life%20haunted%20by%20the%20ghosts%20of%20a%20massacre&st=cse

A New Kind of Resolution

~Please enjoy a guest post from my Mother, Maryann Younger.~

Maggie and I were just talking about resolutions and New Years Resolutions to be specific. Why do people make them and more importantly, why do we feel the need to make them at the beginning of a new year? Statistics tell us that one third of all resolutions don't make it until the end of January and that 80% don't make it until the end of the year. So, what's the deal?

I suppose the end of a time period is always a good time for reflection, and the changing of one year to the next is certainly the most significant time period most of us mark on a regular basis, save those birthdays that end with a zero. I have to wonder, though, if it is the forced-ness of making a New Year's resolution that makes them fail sooner if not later. As a society, we are told collectively to reflect, to make changes, to resolve to be better. Or, perhaps that negative slant is why we don't end up keeping them. Lose weight, exercise more, pray more, spend time with our kids, give up smoking... all of the usual suspects assume there is something about us that needs fixing. Nothing quite like a cold and dark New Year's eve or day to sit down and think about all the things that we need to fix about ourselves. In some perverse way this might make us feel good and hopeful--that with the new year, we have a new chance, a new day to try again, this time to make it better or right or more meaningful than before.

I still wonder though, are we as a society really that unhappy? Overweight and out of shape? Unkind to others? Void of interactions with our children? Most folks I know are good at their core, whole and creative, even if there are parts that might be unsatisfied or broken and in need of repair. But, then again, I may choose to see that hopeful side of people.

Can we do better? Of course. Can I find some new habits to make me healthier? Most certainly. I just don't think that January first needs to be the day to start fixing myself. Maybe if we all made our resolutions on a day that is more meaningful to each of us we might have a better chance of keeping them.

Or, I have an even better idea. Tonight or tomorrow, let's make a list of all the things we loved about this past year. What we've learned, what moments of joy we've experienced and for me, a list of where I have seen God's hand at work. Perhaps if we dwell on those things, we will realize that this path we are on is a good one, even with its twists and turns, its unknown outcomes, and its uncertainties.

Dear friends and family, I'm happy that your path is paralleling mine and thank you for being part of my life. I resolve to never forget that this coming year.

Happy New Year.

-Maryann Younger

Christmas Moments

Christmas means different things to different people. Moments during the holiday season are more important than others. With each of the different patterns and customs of the Christmas season, each person is likely to have a personal favorite moment. This moment, despite the stress a holiday invokes, brings a new feeling into our hearts and lets us be open to the spirt surrounding the wonderful holiday of Christmas. No holiday is without stress. Even earlier this week, stress appeared to hit a new high, filling the air through disgruntled shoppers and people rushing around town as the days prior to Christmas passed. This stress, however, is always dwarfed by the power of the single moment that can define the Christmas season, holiday, and wonder.

I, too, have this single moment. The late service at my church is a fabulous celebration of Christmas. Ending with a joyous singing of “O Come All Ye Faithful” with its unbelievable descant in the final sixth verse of the hymn. My wonderful church comes alive with the spirit and I stand in my pew wishing the song would never end. For that is what Christmas is about. Not the act of standing in a church singing a single hymn, but rejoicing in the single moment that defines Christmas for you alone. In that moment it feels as if anything is possible. You are overcome by every emotion known to man: love from the family surrounding you; joy from another memory made; pain from the loss of those dear; and hope that one day everything will shine as brightly as this moment. This surge of emotion can feel so overwhelming that the breath from your body seems to be gone. Love, joy, pain, hope, faith, wonder, and so much more will fill the air for each of us; because of a single reason- It’s Christmas.

I remember one of the final scenes in A Christmas Story, after Santa came, the dogs ate the turkey, and the family discovered Chinese Turkey, the parents sit in the glow of their Christmas tree sipping wine and watching the snow fall outside. This is their moment. A moment full of peace, love and hope. A moment standing still in the mists of the excitement of Christmas. A moment “...where charity stands watching and faith holds wide the door, the dark night wakes, the glory breaks and Christmas comes once more.”*

So, Merry Christmas! I sincerely hope you had a wonderful, joy and love filled holiday. May your day’s be bright and your heart glad, and may the Christmas spirit find you in the greatest way it can. And know that I wish you the best wishes for the coming New Year.

* 4th verse, 2nd stanza of “O Little Town of Bethlehem”

The New Dirty, Unspoken Word

The “C” word is the newest unspoken dirty word in government. No, I am not taking about anything illicit or scandalous; I am talking about compromise. Compromise, a concept most everyone is taught while growing up, one that is used in most aspects of life, is now the unspoken word that no one wants to say. Why is compromise now the enemy within government? What is so horrid about compromising?

Compromise built our nation. During the constitutional convention, the founders sought to create a stronger governing document to replace the Articles of Confederation. Two plans, the Virginia and the New Jersey, were proposed to the convention. The plans represented the interests and ideas from a large state and small state, respectively, on the topic of government. The founders were torn between the two plans until the Connecticut Compromise combined the best parts of both plans, creating the foundation of our Constitution. Because of compromise, the strongest combination was found and put forth as the highest law in the land.

Just like in the 1700’s, compromise allows for accomplishments and progress to be made. Progress is a good thing; it allows for our country to grow and adapt to the changing times. It creates agreements which allow for new programs, jobs, budgets, and possible ends to negative aspects of society, like deficits and wars. Compromise is nothing to be afraid of, but apparently the newly elected members of Congress disagree. The new Republican majority is taking a pledge not to compromise on any idea from a Democrat. This pledge redefines partisanship and may bring progress, changes, or even continuity to a halt. No agreement means no new jobs bills or decreased spending or new health programs or education programs. Why are we agreeing to disagree? Will anyone be happy if nothing gets done because of this drastic pledge not to compromise? I admit, I am truly baffled at the thought that compromise is a bad thing.

Compromise does not mean going back on promises and morals. While people could view a bill as a failure because it does not state their direct wishes, I hope the greater good of the bill compensates for the unhappiness. Take health care as an example. Did every member of Congress get what they wanted? No. Will the health care law help people? I sure hope so. You do not always get what you want, (but if you try sometimes...) that is the way life works. Compromise allows stronger people to shine and take pride in the accomplishment. Compromise helps to make positive change, and no matter what side you are on, positive change is a good thing.

I hope our newest members of Congress learn quickly that declaring a stalemate will not get anything done. And no one will be happy with that result. We need something new and different, but that can only be reach by using something old and common: Compromise.

Who I Am

I am Maggie Younger. I am a daughter, a sister and a cousin. I am a friend. I am a loved one. I am a child of God. I have many faces and wear many hats, but in the end I am still Margaret Younger.

I attend the University of Iowa. I am an easterner to my core, being raised in Northern Delaware my entire life. Yet, despite what was expected, I ventured to the midwest and became an Iowa Hawkeye. Living in Iowa taught me a lot about myself. It added new aspects to my personality and a break from the life I knew. I am still an avid reader of The New York Times and Newsweek, but I learned, who you are is as big as you define yourself. And in the midwest, you can grow pretty big.

It is easy to lean on labels to define myself- easterner, woman, Episcopalian, and student. Living on my own and being in a totally different world taught me to acknowledge the other labels I could use. I am the granddaughter of a teacher, a nurse and two salesmen. My great-grandparents were all immigrants, from Italy, Sweden and Norway. They were coal miners, shoe makers, milk men and a salesman who trained as an architect. These men did what was needed, and thanks to their success in making their way in this new world, I do not base myself in the past. I think of what is to come, as these men did. Part of me is sure this is the type of world they hoped their great-grand children would live in. I do not label myself as an Italian, a Swede or a Norwegian; yes, these are part of who I am, but I am an American. And for that labelthose men risked everything.

I am the daughter of my parents. And my brother’s sister. I dearly love good food and cooking and the sharing a meal thanks to my parents. I love the sound a good exhaust system and I know the difference between a finely tuned car and imitation. While I am not a computer person like my dad, a pre-school teacher like my mom, or aspiring to be a doctor in molecular biology like my big brother—I love the lessons taught and the times shared make up my best memories. Out of all this, I am loved and cherished no matter what or who I become.

I am a believer. I have faith in people, in the world and in God. I am a pilgrim. I search for peace, and love each day. I am a churchgoer. I feel at home with the sounds of an organ being played and the descant being sung. I rejoice when surrounded in prayer.

I believe a song can change your outlook for the day. I am a lover of Country music and many other types. Lyrics can give me mottos to live by, and great pieces of advice. I cherish the feel of a warm summer night, either staring up at the starry night or driving with the windows down. I feel you should never take yourself to seriously and always remember to laugh, smile and cry when the spirit moves you.

I am compassionate and loving. I stay true to my word and I honor trust. I am a people person. I like knowing what is going on because I believe knowledge is power. I love to learn for the sake of learning. I am a fan of football, cars and good tea. I will smile and tell you I am easy to know, but that does not mean I am easy to understand. I keep people on their toes and make them never quite sure what my next move will be. I wear cowboy boots; I attend the University of Iowa; I will be out on Saturday night but in church Sunday morning. I will follow my heart and my head and make my own choices. I am who I am.

I am a 19 year old college student. I am a daughter, a sister, a friend and a loved one. I am a member of a community. I am family. My family is based on bloodlines and more importantly love lines.

I think big thoughts. I have an opinion and I will always share it when asked. I believe in speaking my truth and listening to those around me. I do not know who I will become, but I am looking forward to meeting her.

- Maggie Younger